There comes a point in every art-piece I ever do where I despair of it ever looking any good. I’ll finish the sketch, nod contentedly, then realize that I am now on the brink of catastrophe or success.
“Should I paint over it? … I might (gasp) RUIN IT FOREVER! But.. but.. It doesn’t look finished as it is! Ok, here it goes..! The first brushstroke!”
And the hard part begins. After half an hour or so I look at my preliminary strokes of paint clumsily smeared over my beautiful sketch and find that there is no beauty in the world, and I will never be a good artist and everything is pointless anyway! My hand reaches over to rip the accursed painting off my desk and cast it into the fiery pits of my garbage can, but wait!
Cue The Small Voice of Hope.
“Just keep going, Kyla! If you get past this point, it probably will turn out pretty good! And if it doesn’t, pretty much nobody will notice your complete failure unless you explain it to them in depth. You won’t learn or grow anyway if you stop in the middle of every project you do!”
“You’re right…” I sigh. And then I keep going.
And you know what? It works! I don’t love every painting I do. In fact, some completed pieces are merely satisfying for the fact that I completed them. But I think that even that is worth it. It is good to know that I can push past the ugly for the hope of the beautiful.
I hope that when I am faced with the ugly in my life I will be able to persevere by looking forward to the beautiful. I believe this is called faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).
I think God is like a painter. When he sees the sin that mars our lives, he does not throw up his hands and say, “Ach! There is nothing I can do! I will throw it away, I guess!” He is ever faithful to us in repairing and developing his artful work in our lives. Even when we are handed over to sin or tragedy, it is for the hope that it will drive us back to Him.
When he returns, there is going to be a magnificent story to look back on, and a magnificent story to look forward to, as well! I am so excited to see the finished product.